Hello? Are you my next date?
By Dave Kotinsky/.
Hello? Excuse me? Is this thing on? HELLO. Okay, folks, step right up. STEP RIGHT UP. Jake Gyllenhaal, acteur who just gave a nuanced performance as Boston bombing survivor, Jeff Bauman, in Stronger, is looking for date. Was that a maudlin sentence? He pulled off what could have easily been a cloying a role (it’s one that will likely get him an Oscar nomination), and the subject of dating can be considered so shallow, so flippant. If it was in poor taste then apologies, but Gyllenhaal is a complex man, and one who, admittedly, is looking to be set up.
“People should set me up more often,” he told Mickey Rapkin in a new Q&A for Elle. “I absolutely encourage it. There should be more of that in my life . . . .” Has an ellipsis ever been more charged?
The pros of taking this call to action are infinite. First, hair. Second, eyes! Third, Sunday nights at Maggie’s house for a traditional Brooklyn potlucks (B.Y.O.Scarf). Fourth, he will never, ever talk about your relationship in public, no matter how much prodding by inquisitive minds with pens in hand. The pros go on! Use your imagination!
As for the cons . . . be ready to brush up on your history. “I’ve been reading a lot about the American Revolution and recently binge-watched The Crown, so I’m really curious about the pros and cons of democracy versus a parliamentary system versus a monarchy,” he said. “I’m a real joy to be around right now, as you can imagine.” Calling all history and/or political science PhDs! This is your moment. Some people’s con is another person’s pro.
Also, unfortunately, he’s perhaps a little paranoid: “When you first said ‘set you up,’ I thought you meant for a prank,” he told Rapkin. Which, okay, fair, Jake! That’s fair! He’s endured life in the limelight all these years, and fame is known to give a person a cagey air in interviews—even for those that Taylor Swift didn’t allegedly write a a song about. Honestly, he’s been in blockbusters since his youth and now he’s 36. If he weren’t a touch suspicious about what strangers might want from him, then it’d be disconcerting.
There is one thing that is a pro or a con depending on where you, potential date, are at right now: The man is ready to be a father. So do what you will with that.
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