Plenty of extra work for sports scribes, still none for Kap

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Darting here and there …

–Help wanted: Sports department politics and social protest writer. It seems like we’re now averaging at least one topical assignment per day for any interested applicants.

–Just kidding, of course. We can handle all this heavy stuff. But we might need somebody to cover the actual games. You know, those results-oriented athletic confrontations people used to care about so much as an escape from the real world?

–There is something really weird about the fact that Colin Kaepernick has indirectly created so many extra jobs for us sports scribes, yet he still can’t land one for himself.

–We absolutely agree that Kaepernick should have been on that Sports Illustrated cover. After all, how could it possibly have jinxed him?

–In 50 years, we’ll look back at that SI cover and say, `Look, there’s Bruce Maxwell. Who are these other guys?”

–People who grouse about athletes kneeling for the anthem should be tested on the lyrics first. Get ’em all right, you’re allowed to gripe. But that would knock out about 97 percent of the offended.

–Even with those who sing it at games, there’s about a 25 percent failure rate on the words. Then there’s another 25 percent just who sing it really, really badly.

–Somewhere out there, there’s somebody devising stadium protest sabermetrics, replete with ballpark factors, the whole works.

–President Trump couldn’t land the Warriors at the White House, but at least he’s getting the NHL’s Pittsburgh Penguins. There are as many Canadians on the Pens’ roster as Americans, but hey, at least there’s a Russian.

–Meanwhile, the Raiders did so little in Washington, D.C. last week, you would have sworn they were elected to go there.

–The A’s set a franchise record for home run walk-offs at the Coliseum in their home finale with eight. Good practice for 2022 when they permanently walk off at the Coliseum.

–By the way, smashing that the A’s have hit 230 home runs this season entering the weekend, which is 70 more than they hit last year. Now if they can just do something next year about the record 207 they’ve served up.

–Bob Melvin’s contract extension should have read, “Oh hell, BoMel, just stay as long as you want.”

–Man, the A’s are losing seemingly unbreakable records left and right. First, the Indians break their win streak mark of 20. Then Aaron Judge erases Mark McGwire’s rookie home record of 49. Ah, but don’t worry, Rickey Henderson, yours is safe. There is only one TEAM this year with as many as 130 stolen bases.

–We don’t get to say, “Way to go, Jed!” around here very often, so here goes: Way to go, Jed Lowrie, who went into the weekend hitting .278 (.360 on-base) with 47 doubles and 14 home runs. He also has made just five errors in 134 games at second base.

–Best thing the Giants could do in Matt Cain’s final career start: Go out and score about 20 runs. At least send him out with some scoreboard support.

–Then again, the Giants don’t want to go too crazy this weekend and blow the Beer Run: That would be Seth Beer, the power-hitting Clemson outfielder projected to very likely be the top pick in the draft. Heading into the final three games, the Giants were still holding down No. 1.

–The Chase for 100: The Giants entered Friday with 97 losses, and the outfield prospect they traded last year, Cincinnati’s Adam Duvall, had 98 RBIs (with 31 homers).

–The Warriors had to know something was fishy when they reviewed the itemized parade bill and saw $50,000 for Stephen Curry cigar-ash cleanup.

–We didn’t think the Cleveland Cavaliers could get any more decrepit, and then they signed oft-injured Dwyane Wade, who turns 36 in January. We love the guy, but added to Derrick Rose and Isaiah Thomas, that’s three key Cavs playing with bodies made of eggshells this season.

–Much Ado About Nothing Dept.: Why does it always say so-and-so was an “avid golfer” in obits? Maybe he was a miserable golfer. Maybe he was tormented by the game. Maybe golf even killed him.

–Finally, the New York Giants’ Odell Beckham was fined $12,154 for lifting his leg on a goalpost after scoring a touchdown. Really now, could the NFL please explain to the dogs of America how it arrived at that number?

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