bitchy | Ryan Reynolds’ best prank ever involved painting some guy’s office ‘puce’

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Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip open the new Metropolitan Police Headquarters

Not to be mean, but this is not your angle, Ryan Reynolds. You should never be photographed at this awkward half-tilt to the camera with a partial side-eye. It’s just… not great. I’m saying that as someone who doesn’t really care for Ryan, but as someone who can acknowledge that he can be attractive sometimes. This cover is not one of those times. Anyway, Ryan covers the September issue of Men’s Health because he’s promoting The Hitman’s Bodyguard, where he plays said bodyguard and Samuel L. Jackson plays the hitman. It looks like a silly action movie, but I bet Sam and Ryan have a lot of chemistry together. Anyway, this Men’s Health interview is sort of funny.

People are bees: “We’re in an age of ultra-communication, scoops, leaks, all these things. We’re bees; we spread information instantly. It’s increasingly harder to surprise an audience in any capacity.”

He doesn’t want to be the a–hole: “There’s an old saying on a film set, ‘If you can’t find the a–hole, it’s you.’ At work, I like everyone to be part of the process. That means if the caterer has a good idea, you want to hear it.”

He’s not good in the kitchen: “I am not innovative in the kitchen. If I cook, you’ll have a structure fire. The firemen will kick down our door, take my wife away, and give her a better life.”

He loves creative swearing: “I love a good compound swear word. ‘This party’s sh-tty’ isn’t nearly as effective as ‘This party’s a total sh-t symphony.’ That gives it a little jushe.”

The greatest prank he ever pulled. “A friend of mine left town for a week – when he was gone, I painted his entire office puce…we painted everything in his entire office that color…the inside of his desk, every pencil, every pen, everything.”

[From Men’s Health]

If someone “pranked” me by painting everything in my office, I would call the police, no joke. I don’t get those kinds of “pranks.” And is “sh-t symphony” a compound swear word? No, it’s not. A compound swear word is f-cksh-t or dickweasel or assface. Oh, and this: “There’s an old saying on a film set, ‘If you can’t find the a–hole, it’s you.’” That’s an old saying everywhere, not just on film sets. It goes hand in hand with this equally old saying: “If you run into an a–hole in the morning, you ran into an a–hole. If you run into a–holes all day, you’re the a–hole.”

Queen Elizabeth and Prince Phillip open the new Metropolitan Police Headquarters

Photos courtesy of Men’s Health.



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